most people who know me, know that i am more of a relationship person than a date around/single person. it's just who i am. it's always who i've been. when i was little i didn't dream about dating different guys or being single...i dreamed about being in love. this, i am sure, is a result of being left alone to watch too many Disney movies as a child. which to be honest, isn't a bad way to live my life. it keeps me positive and keeps me motivated to be the best I can be for that special someone, as well as myself.
in the last 6 years, i have been single for a total of...three months. i began a relationship at 16 with someone, and it took me a whole 2 1/2 years to figure out he wasn't the "one". then I promptly got into another relationship that lasted another 2 years. obviously that didn't work either. after i broke it off with the last guy, i thought to myself...what do I want?...who am I? i felt like, i needed to be single to know who I am. so...that's what i was. i was SINGLE and ready to mingle-not in the slutty sleep around way either...just ready to flirt and be care free about it.
so i was single for a while and flirted with a few guys and weighed my options of potential boyfriends but none were really wanting a relationship, and i wasn't willing to compromise my own values to just be "that girl who you sleep with". i even went as far as almost becoming "that girl" but thank God to high heaven, i ended up not going through with it. i really would have kicked myself in the butt had i brought myself down to that level of such low standards.
then it hit me.
i know who i am. i don't need to be single to know that. i am a strong independent woman who knows what she wants in life, and relationships (romantic and otherwise). i like to be in a relationship, and there is NOTHING wrong with that...i am monogamous and trustworthy and honest and true to myself and my partner. i'm not "cheating" myself out of my own worth, nor am i "cheating" someone else out of their worth...i am an awesome woman who will not be taken advantage of. if you want to be with me...BE WITH ME...don't wimp out and say that you're not ready for a commitment. if you're not ready for commitment, then you're not ready, and certainly do not deserve me in any form other than a friendship.
i am extremely blessed to have a man in my life who chose to show, through his actions, that i have worth by being in a committed relationship with me. boyfriend/girlfriend. not dating...not seeing each other...but official boyfriend/girlfriend. i value that in him, and knowing that it would be easier to walk away and just "date" me or just "see" me and not be committed fully to me for him and his situation means a lot to me and i don't take his commitment lightly, nor do i take it for granted.
now. there are some people in this world. a lot of people, actually, who i feel sell themselves short when it comes to being romantically involved with someone. take for instance my favorite guilty pleasure...Sex and The City. i love that show, i do. however, the choices the women make on the show are not anything i would wish for me OR my friends. the closest character i relate to is Charlotte-she wants to find someone she can connect with, not just have sex with and feel the complications of not being honest and good to yourself (Samantha). Although, Charlotte makes mistakes, as we all do, she has a basic set of morals and values she's just not willing to let go of.
i often see/hear that single people have the anthem of "i don't need a man to make me happy", "no man can complete me", "i am my own person and don't need to be in a relationship to be happy", "you're the idiot because you're in a relationship", etc. yet they have a man in their life, it's just not "official" or "exclusive". well, to that i say...i'm sad for you and praying for you. your morals and values need to be reevaluated if you honestly are going to sell yourself short and give away your body to someone who doesn't have big enough balls to just jump in and say YOU'RE WORTH IT. and you're allowing the other person to sell themselves short, too. which is not fair to either party and eventually will catch up with the both of you.
i am in an extremely awesome relationship, with the promise and idea that there is marriage involved. if there wasn't marriage involved, i wouldn't be wasting my time and energy, nor letting my partner waste his time and energy, if i didn't KNOW that things were going to move onto that next and final level of commitment. think about that the next time you drop your pants for the guy your seeing, or even some guy your not seeing....
as Nicki Minaj said in an interview. "Ladies, step your pussy up.....keep your pussy exclusive"
if you really want to be a "strong woman", then don't sell yourself short by being that girl.
and that's what i have to say about that.
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