so recently i put up a picture on Facebook of myself with curled hair. i got a few outside comments, as well as one FB comment that i looked 'scary skinny'. now, these comments weren't from distant people, they were from people i hold near and dear to my heart...so of course, it hit me hard. although, the comments were that the angle and the fact that i was wearing black made it look like i was scary skinny, i cried. i felt so embarrassed. here i had thought, this is a cute picture of my new curled hair, all the meanwhile others were thinking, ew look at her stomach, it's freakishly small! well, after a cry, and a reassuring "it was just the angle, you aren't scary skinny! and you don't have any kind of eating disorder anyone needs to be worried about! you have a box of krispy kreme donuts on your lap for crying out loud!" from JT i dried my tears and realized i don't have an issue, i am skinny because that's just they way i am-i shouldn't feel embarrassed about it. however, i got to thinking about my weight and how others perceive me.
now, i am no stranger to people calling me skinny. especially, in a rude or negative matter. in fact, i've heard it since i was in middle school. it never bothered me because i was skinny. i was like a little boy-no curves or shape whatsoever. however, in high school, my body grew and i wasn't just skinny anymore, i was more slender with curves than anything else. and i always heard the phrase: "you're so skinny...ugh i hate you". i would normally just take it as a compliment smile, say nothing, and move on. however, i keep hearing that same phrase even into adulthood... "you're so skinny...ugh i hate you"-not always that phrase, but basically that same idea-and it got me thinking...you're not complimenting my shape, you're trying to tear me down because you have some issue with yourself.
so that probably sounds self-centered, but even begin to think that. i have my own body issues and am aware of them.
moving on. i have taken the bullshit for too long. i am no longer going to stand there while you belittle me and make me feel gross because you have some issue with yourself. i am slender, yes. i eat cookies, chips, and whatever i want, when i want, and haven't gained a pound in the last few years, however, that doesn't give you the right to try and tear me down. if you're going to compliment me, do so. if you're going to be mean about my weight, don't even bother bringing it up. the next person who tells me that they hate me because i am skinny, i am going to look them in the eye and say-i am skinny because i am-don't hate me for it, because it hurts my feelings and makes you look stupid all at the same time.
and on another note, i would LOVE to take some of the fat off of your ass and put it directly onto my own body. trust me. i know i could use a few extra pounds, i'm not blind or stupid. however, i don't go around saying, oh my goodness you have a huge ass-i wish i could have a huge ass, too! i wouldn't say that because it's rude and completely unnecessary.
at any rate, the next time you tell someone you hate them because of their body, why don't you grow a pair and either say what you really feel, or better yet...deal with your own damn issues before taking them out on me. i don't need them. i have my own.
thanks.
